Issue 415

Issue 415

The Floor is a Thing Too Far

Rob-Portrait351Last weekend, I spent many hours on my knees (I’m thinking about 300 hours) installing flooring. If you will, please allow me to offer my opinion on whether any of the eZine faithful should attempt this task.

NO!

My suggestion is that anything that you can do to make enough money to hire the heinous task done — just do it. Sell plasma, sell your car, stand on the corner of a busy roadway with a cardboard sign saying “Please help, my flooring needs to be replaced,” become a gandy dancer and lay railroad track … even, goodness help you — work retail.

You might think that I am overreacting, but trust me — I am being reasonable. There were moments last Saturday as I lay on the floor on my back, knees aching … legs stiff and unresponsive (for a bit there I thought I might starve to death stranded in my living room) that I saw my life flash before my eyes and I realized that in my last 60 years I had been smart enough never to install flooring before. I should have kept it that way.

Rob Johnstone, Woodworker’s Journal

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