Issue 8

How Bad is Your Worst Project: A Contest

I’ve got a confession.

Among the beautiful and practical pieces of furniture and cabinets I’ve created in more than 20 years of woodworking, I have also made some pretty silly — one (or one’s spouse) might even say stupid — woodworking projects. Some of them I’ve been commissioned to build. Once, a local bank asked me to make about 200 executive name plate holders. They were rectangular blocks with a recess routed out for the brass plate and were to be made out of solid black walnut. What was stupid about that, you might ask? I was then directed to paint them chocolate brown.

But the projects that are personally embarrassing to me are the ones I’ve conceived and built all on my own. For example, I brought home a solid hickory coffee table one Christmas Eve that you could land an F15 on. (It really did look much smaller in the shop.) My children took to dancing on it, like a stage. And how about that magazine rack-bedside table that I then sponge-painted for a faux-marble look? Well, you get the idea.

Sometimes good intentions go astray. I don’t think I’m alone in this situation, so here is my challenge: I’ll show you my goofiest project, if you show me yours. Send me pictures of your odd, your oversized, your simply weird … the projects in which you combined just one too many brilliant ideas. For my part, I’ll post a picture of one of my personal nearly-great projects. To increase participation, let’s make it into a contest! Goofy-project entrants’ names will be placed in a metaphorical hat and a winner will be selected at random on August 25. The winner will receive a TV 3000 tool vacuum, built by Ridgid Tool, and will be featured in your August 29-September 11 eZine with other notably goofy projects. Let the adventure begin!

Rob Johnstone, Woodworker’s Journal